- Community Connection
Adoption.com: Spouse of adoptee issues/support
This forum thread is to support spouses of adoptees. It deals with attachment issues, self-blaming, and biased personal opinions. It is important to understand that these perspectives are not universally true and may be triggering. This source can apply to and most benefit spouses of adoptees who want to connect with others and want new perspectives.
- Community Connection
Adoption.com: “Confessions of an Adoptee’s Dating Life”
This article gives an adoptee’s perspective on how they might view dating, goes through attachment styles, and explains their feelings. This source can apply to and most benefit other adoptees who want to know more about how their identity could affect their dating life.
- Community Connection
Colorado Marriage Retreats: “Do People Who Are Adopted Have Trouble Loving?”
This article answers the question “Do People Who Are Adopted Have Trouble Loving?” from the partner of an adoptee — a licensed marriage and family therapist’s perspective. The response is empathetic and gives recommendations on what the partner should do. This source can apply to and most benefit other adoptees or spouses who are interested in improving a relationship that might be affected by adoption.
- Community Connection
Adoptee Restoration: “Adoptees and Trust Issues with Spouses and Significant Others”
Summary: From Adoptee Restoration, this narrative article shares the author’s experiences in how she overcame trust issues with her spouse. The center of the story is about how she worked through the decision to give her husband access to her medical information. This source can apply to and most benefit other adoptees who are figuring out their trust issues with their spouse.
- Community Connection
GLADNEY Center for Adoption: “What Do Adoptees Wish People Knew about Them?”
This article explains a few things that adoptees would like others to know about them. It describes how adoptees are similar to everyone else, how they are different, and encourages people to not assume things about adoption. This source can apply to and most benefit those who don’t know much about adoption but would like to learn further about it.
- Community Connection
Psychology Today: “Adult Adoptees in Relationships: Eleven Red Flags to Avoid Future Abandonment”
This article is about red flags adoptees should avoid when searching for a relationship. The 11 red flags are explained in a sort of biased, protective stance and it is important to recognize the nuances in every relationship. This source may apply to and most benefit adoptees who are seeking a relationship, but would like some guidance to protect themselves.
- Community Connection
Considering Adoption: “Adopted Adults and Relationships – How Are They Affected?”
This article explains how people’s relationships migh be affected if they’re adopted. It gives details on how some adoptee’s emotional difficulties can affect or not affect a relationship and encourages adoptees to seek out therapy if needed. This source may apply to and most benefit adoptees who want to understand where some of their troubled feelings regarding relationships stem from.
- Community Connection
Adoptee Restoration: “Trusting & Fully Loving Your Spouse or Significant Other (10 Important Choices adoptees Can Make)”
This narrative article shares the author’s experiences and gives a list of ten choices an adoptee can make in their relationship. It is important to understand that this article is faith based. This source can apply to and most benefit other adoptees who are figuring out their trust nd attachment issues with their spouse.
- Community Connection
Adoption Reconnect
The Adoption Reconnect Facebook page focuses on partners of adoptees. It validates the feelings of partners of adoptees, explains an adoptee’s feelings/differences, and how one should support their adoptee partner. This source can apply to and most benefit spouses of adoptees who want to understand/support their partners.
- Community Connection
Transfiguring Adoption: “A Spouse’s Love for an Adoptee”
This narrative article shares the author’s experiences and perspectives on what it is like to be a spouse of an adoptee. He emphasizes with his wife’s feelings, explains the reasoning of his own feelings, and how he chooses to support her. This source can apply to and most benefit spouses of adoptees who want to understand another spouse’s perspective.
- Community Connection
Adopt a Love Story: “10 Needs Adoptees Want You to Know About”
This article explains ten common needs adoptees want others to know about, like that adoption is a lifelong journey, they need to claim their identity, and more. This source can apply to and most benefit spouses of adoptees who want to understand more about an adoptee’s identity.
- Mental Health
Therapist Locator
A search engine that locates marriage and family therapists. Users can search using zip codes or a city name for therapists in the US, Canada, and other countries.
- Mental Health
Healthgrades: Family and Marriage Counselors Near Me
A search engine that allows users to search for family and marriage counselors by state, and view therapists profiles including ratings, testimonials, location, options for virtual therapy, background checks, and more. Users are also able to filter by doctors, conditions, or procedures.
- Mental Health
OnlineTherapy: “Marriage and Family Therapist Online”
An article and search directory, this source discusses the decision to find a marriage and family therapist online and also links to a directory that allows users to filter by state. It is possible to search through 50 states and view profiles listing: years of experience, language, specialization, and bios.
- Mental Health
American Association for Marriage and Family Therapy: “Adoption”
This article explains how adoption, and the attitudes surrounding it have changed over the years. It explains different reasonings behind the decision to adopt, and how adoptive parents, like biological parents, love their children and want the best for them. The difference is that adopted children face different challenges that family therapy can help resolve or manage.
- Mental Health
No Hands But Ours: “Preparing for Adoption: A Family Therapist’s Perspective”
An article on preparing for adoption by Ashley Yeager, a family therapist and Trust-Based Relational Intervention Practitioner. She incorporates a spiritual feel, and explains different steps for prospective adoptive parents to take.
- Media
American Adoptions: “The Truth About Adopted Adults and Relationship Issues”
“An article explaining that although not many studies have been conducted on adoptees and trauma, many adoptees feel they have relationship issues tracing back to their adoption.”
- Media
Considering Adoption: “5 Things the Spouse of an Adoptee Should Know”
This brief article by Considering Adoption touches on five different things spouses need to know and recognize. While not incredibly complicated or detailed, this article is a good place to start.
- Media
Psychology Today: “Adult Adoptee Voices Are Changing Adoption Narrative”
“The article is written by a Korean transracial adoptee speaking about the Side x Side project where adoptees discuss their lives, relationships, and origins. It summarizes the project and talks about how even if adoptive parents think their relationship is great, it may be prudent to reexamine and ask honestly how their children are feeling
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- Media
Adoption Surrogacy Choices of Colorado: “Understanding an Adult Adoptee’s Emotions”
This blog discusses the contradicting emotions some adoptees may face. It provides an introduction to the complex feelings adoptees can experience.
- Media
The Guardian: “Stories of transracial adoptees must be heard – even uncomfortable ones”
Korean-American adoptee Nicole Chung touches on the way adoptees are expected to fit into the framework of white supremacy and which emotions are considered acceptable for adoptees to have. She discusses her own experience with the phrase “a good adoptee.”
- Media
NPR: “Adoptees express their fear, anger and insight on race during social unrest”
A news article that spotlights adoptees of all backgrounds and adopted families, as they explain how their identity has been shaped by social unrest and the ways it has impacted their family dynamic.
- Media
The New York Times: “IDENTITY: When Parents Adopt a Child and a Whole Other Culture”
A New York Times article on how adoptee identity is a complex issue that is unique for each adoptee. It discusses how parents are not only adopting a child, but also their child’s culture.
- Mental Health
Amanda Baden, PH.D.
Amanda Baden is am a Licensed Psychologist in New York City with a small practice in Manhattan. She specializes in work with those impacted by adoption but I also work with issues related to racial, cultural, and identity concerns.
