Beginning a birth parent search is a deeply personal and often emotional journey. It can bring excitement, hope, and uncertainty all at once. Reliable guidance and trusted resources can help make the process clearer and more grounded. For Chinese adoptees, the International Child Search Alliance (ICSA) provides one of the most comprehensive guides for getting started, and the Nanchang Project offers additional tools and support.
In this blog post, we’ve gathered key steps, considerations, and resources from their work to help you navigate a search thoughtfully, safely, and at a pace that feels right for you.
Considering a Search
A birth parent search is a significant decision, and it deserves time, space, and reflection. It’s completely normal to feel curious, hesitant, conflicted, or unsure where to begin. This section is meant to help you pause and check in with yourself before taking any official steps. Rather than focusing on what you “should” do, try to center your own needs, consider your emotional readiness and the kind of support that will help you feel safe. Whether you decide to search now, later, or not at all, the most important thing is that the choice comes from you.
To Search or Not to Search?
The choice to begin a birth parent search belongs entirely to the adoptee. Everyone’s needs, hopes, and timing are different. There is no universal “right time” to start, and searching should never feel forced or pressured by family, friends, or search organizations. Taking time to reflect on what you want and how you’re feeling can help you start from a grounded place rather than urgency or pressure.
You might ask yourself:
- What is motivating my interest in searching?
- What emotions are coming up for me?
- What outcomes am I hoping for, and which ones feel difficult to imagine?
- What concerns or fears are coming up?
- Who can support me through this process?
Emotional Readiness & Preparation
Reflection can help you understand what you feel ready for before you begin. Searching, and the possibilities that come with it, can be unpredictable, overwhelming, and emotionally intense. You don’t need to know exactly what to expect, but it can help to consider what you’re hoping for, what worries you, and how you might respond if the information you receive feels surprising, confusing, or disappointing. Journaling, grounding strategies, or talking with trusted people can make the process more manageable.
It’s also helpful to prepare yourself for the pace and intensity of the search community. Some organizations or independent searchers may move quickly, ask direct or blunt questions, or encourage you to act faster than feels comfortable. Not everyone in this space will prioritize your wellbeing, so it helps to anticipate a certain level of directness. This can feel jarring, especially while you’re already navigating your own emotions. Remember: you never have to move at someone else’s pace. You can slow down, take breaks, or stop altogether at any time. Take a moment to consider what information you’re comfortable sharing, how quickly you want to respond, and when you might need to step back to protect your emotional energy. Prioritizing your mental health and your personal needs is key throughout the process.
A strong support system can also make a big difference. Family, trusted friends, or other adoptees can help you process emotions, pause when things feel heavy, or offer perspective. Talk openly about what kind of support you want, whether that’s advice, regular check-ins, or simply someone who will listen. And if involving others feels stressful or adds pressure, it’s okay to keep parts of your search private. Your comfort and emotional safety should guide each step.
Privacy, Safety, & Risks
When you begin a search, you may share sensitive information online, including your DNA, full name(s), photos, and documents. Before using DNA services or search platforms, review their privacy policies and understand who can access your data, how it may be shared, how long it will be stored, and whether it can be deleted later.
All DNA testing carries some level of risk. A relative’s data could reveal information about you that you didn’t intend to share publicly. Take time to set boundaries and decide what you’re comfortable with before you begin.
The Search Process
Once you’ve decided to move forward, you may be wondering what comes next. A birth parent search begins with DNA testing, then uploading your data to different databases where potential matches from parents, siblings, and/or other relatives can occur. You may work with search organizations, community groups, or private searchers, or you may handle most steps on your own. Choose what option(s) feel safest and most supportive for you.
DNA Testing
Taking a DNA test is often the first step many adoptees take. There are several companies offering different types of tests, collection methods and price points. It’s important to understand the difference between the test types and the databases they connect to. At minimum, you will need to do at least one SNP/autosomal test to have a chance at finding a match, but doing additional tests or uploading your data to multiple databases can increase your likelihood of finding relatives.
Autosomal/SNP DNA Tests
Autosomal (SNP) testing is usually the first step in a birth parent search because it offers the widest range of possible matches. These tests can match you with biological parents, full or half siblings, cousins, and other extended relatives, making them one of the most effective starting points for finding a match. Most companies use either a saliva sample or a cheek swab, which you complete yourself and mail back in a prepaid package. The process is straightforward, but it’s important to follow the instructions closely to ensure a clean sample. Once the lab receives your kit, processing times vary by company, so plan for a waiting period before your results are ready.
Suggested SNP testing options:
- *23andMe: saliva test
- AncestryDNA: saliva test
- FamilyTree DNA: swab test
- MyHeritage: swab test
- Living DNA: swab test
*Historically, 23andMe was used by many Chinese adoptees, resulting in a large database and higher chances of a match. However, it should be noted that the company filed for bankruptcy in March of 2025, and privacy concerns have led many to delete their data or use a different company. Please consider this risk before choosing to use 23andMe.
STR/Paternity/CODIS DNA Testing
In addition to an autosomal test, you can also do a paternal (STR) test. This type of test is the most common in China and is required for several Chinese databases. STR tests can only identify very close biological relatives, such as a birth parent or twin, so it’s important to approach any match carefully. Because STR tests analyze far fewer markers than autosomal tests, always double-check details like birthdates and sample locations, and, when possible, ask local Chinese police to test both parents for confirmation.
STR collection methods vary depending on the database or organization you use. Some search organizations or provincial offices may request a blood sample, given in person in China or mailed if available. Commercial testing services typically rely on an at-home cheek swab or saliva kit that you return by mail. Each method has its own steps and timelines, so review instructions closely and choose what feels most accessible for you.
Common STR testing options:
- The National Reunion: Largest Chinese database (see below for details)
- LabCorp: At-home test, around $105
- DNA Diagnostics Center: Kits cost $80–$95, or use DNAConnect for a discount
- Consanguinitas: Commonly used for Dutch adoptees
- PappaTest: Commonly used for Swedish adoptees
- EasyDNA: Based in the UK with worldwide offices
Regardless of the test you choose, expect several weeks before results are ready. This waiting period can be a helpful time to reflect on how the process has felt so far and consider how you want to approach the next steps. Once your results come in, set aside time to review them. Some tests may include health or genetic information you haven’t seen before. Be sure to download your raw DNA data so you can upload it to the database(s) you plan to use next.
DNA Databases
Once you have your DNA results, the next step is to upload them to one or more DNA databases. These platforms store and match DNA data and are housed in both the U.S. and China. Many of the companies used for autosomal or STR testing also serve as databases, and most sites allow you to upload raw DNA data from other testing companies. Be sure to check whether a database accepts SNP/autosomal or STR results before uploading.
U.S. Databases
The most widely used database, GEDmatch, is a free, universal database that compares your DNA with other adoptees and birth families. This database contains over 1,200 Chinese birth family data in it, making it the first choice to upload to.
Other U.S. databases include:
- FamilyTree DNA: Accepts SNP uploads from AncestryDNA and MyHeritageDNA
- MyHeritageDNA: Accepts SNP uploads from AncestryDNA, FamilyTreeDNA, 23andMe, and Living DNA
- Living DNA: Accepts SNP uploads from AncestryDNA, 23andMe, MyHeritageDNA, and FamilyTree DNA
These U.S. databases are all free and help widen your search reach. If you have tested with 23andMe or AncestryDNA, you can also upload your data to the other’s database.
Chinese Databases
The National Reunion Database (also called the National Police Database or National Public Security Database) is growing in size and contains thousands of DNA files. You can submit STR data in two ways:
- In China: Visit a local police station to provide a blood sample for free. It will be uploaded directly to the database
- From the U.S.: If you are unable to travel to China, companies like the Nanchang Project can guide you through the steps to mail your own blood sample to China
If a match is found, you will be notified via the contact information you provide. Please note that you may not receive any birth family contact or information before a reunion call is arranged by the police. This may not align with your desires, but this is a standard process for Chinese police officers.
Besides the National Reunion Database, other online Chinese databases allow uploads for a small fee. These databases can be especially helpful as they show matches by province and city. Both websites are in Chinese, so translation tools like Google Translate are useful. These include:
- 23Mofang: SNP uploads from 23andMe or Ancestry for $45 USD
- WeGene: SNP uploads for $30 USD/199 RMB. Set up your account using the English site, then switch to the Chinese site for detailed match info
Additional Platforms
Baobeihuijia (Baby Come Home): A volunteer-run platform in China focused on reuniting families with missing children. Many adoptees use it as an additional search tool. You can create a listing with basic details and photos, and volunteers may help share it locally in your birth province. Be mindful of the personal information you include. While Baobeihuijia cannot verify leads, it can increase your visibility within China. It is not a database itself, but DNA submitted through the platform is uploaded to the National Reunion Database.
Help for Family Reunion (HFFR): A private non-profit organization that collects STR data from adoptees. Though based in China, the database is maintained in the U.S., and new matches are posted on their Facebook page. To submit your information, email [email protected] with:
- Name to list (SWI-given or preferred Chinese/English name)
- Photo or screenshot of STR DNA results (you may blur personal info)
- Date of birth and gender
- Current country of residence
- Contact info (typed WeChat ID preferred, or email)
- Two photos: one headshot, one full body
- Short adoption background (orphanage, finding location, or distinctive features)
Follow up if you do not receive confirmation within a week.
Resources & Tools
Beginning a search can feel like stepping into a completely new world, and it helps to know what kinds of support and tools are available. Many adoptees turn to search organizations, online communities, and peer groups for guidance, shared knowledge, and emotional grounding. These resources can help you understand your DNA results, learn what steps to take next, and connect with others who are also searching or have already reunited. Every adoptee’s needs are different, so it’s important to explore these options at your own pace and choose only what feels helpful and safe for you. Below are some of the most commonly used resources in the search community.
Search Organizations
Search organizations can be a great help to your journey, providing guidance, practical support, and connections to help you navigate the search process. They can help interpret DNA results, provide advice on next steps, and connect you to networks of other adoptees or birth families. However, you’re never obligated to work with one if it doesn’t feel right to you. It’s important to research any organization before deciding to share your information or move forward with them. Some search organizations include:
- Nanchang Project: Registers birth families, uploads SNP tests to GEDmatch, and supports searches nationwide
- Roots of Love: Focuses on Chongqing, supports testing, and helps interpret matches
- DNAConnect: Processes DNA, coordinates GEDmatch uploads, and connects adoptees with birth families
- Private searchers: Vetted individuals in China who can assist on the ground. Choose carefully and make sure you feel comfortable with their approach
Community Resources
Connecting with other adoptees can provide both emotional support and practical guidance. Sharing experiences, asking questions, and hearing from people who have gone through similar searches can make the process less overwhelming and help you feel less alone. Consider:
- Facebook and WeChat groups: These communities allow adoptees to share updates, ask questions, exchange tips, and provide encouragement throughout the search journey
- Search posters: Widely used both online and locally in China, search posters can help amplify your search. You can create individual posters or be featured on group/province posters. Organizations like the Nanchang Project can provide guidance on this process
What Comes Next
Once you’ve taken the first steps in your search, uploading DNA, joining groups, or reaching out to different organizations, the next phase is often a mix of waiting, processing, and finding your footing. This stretch of time can feel slow or emotional, and that’s completely normal. While you wait for updates or possible matches, it can help to check in with yourself, revisit your boundaries, and lean on the support you trust. You might use this time to connect with other adoptees who are also searching, learn more about your province or orphanage, or simply give yourself space to rest. There’s no “right” way to move through this part of the journey. What matters most is pacing yourself, tending to your wellbeing, and allowing things to unfold at a pace that feels right for you.
Preparing for different outcomes can also help you feel more grounded as things unfold. A potential match may bring excitement, relief, or complex emotions you didn’t expect, and having support in place can make that transition easier. At the same time, receiving no match, or not hearing back for a long period, can be discouraging. Try to make space for whatever comes up and give yourself grace along the way. Reminding yourself that searches often take time, and that a “no match yet” is not a final answer, may help you stay connected to hope while still caring for your emotional needs.
Conclusion
A birth parent search is a deeply personal and meaningful journey, one that can bring moments of clarity, connection, uncertainty, and growth. Every step you take, from reflecting on your readiness to choosing tests, joining communities, or preparing for different outcomes, is part of shaping a process that honors you. Move at a pace that feels gentle and sustainable. Reach out for support when you need it. And remember that your choices are valid at every stage. This is your story, and you have the right to shape it in the way that feels right for you.
