By: Bethany Denton
This October, I attended my first Beyond Adopteen Connection Weekend in Chicago. It was so fun to return to the Adopteen community and see how things have evolved over the years! I was lucky enough to attend the very first Adopteen event CCAI put on and found a community that intrinsically understood me in a way others did not. Over the following years, I attended a few more camps, including an AGBOST trip, and watched as Adopteen really took on a life of its own. I made friends, formed connections, and encouraged other adoptees I knew and met to attend. Of course, I inevitably aged out. So, when Beyond Adopteen Adult Retreats began, I was very interested in participating, but that pesky thing called life kept getting in the way. Imagine my surprise and excitement when I learned that Beyond Adoptee was happening in my city this year!
Being able to share my love of this city with others and have an excuse to do fun things was an absolute no-brainer. I was also excited to open my place up to host people traveling into the city who were looking to save some money. Some of my fondest memories from Adopteen are the host families and fellow campers I stayed with! I ended up hosting two lovely individuals in my apartment, and we had some great chats over commutes, food, and late-night sleepiness. Reconnecting with old friends and making new ones made the weekend unforgettable. Seeing how many of the adoptees were attending their first adoptee event was also so heartwarming. Hearing their stories and how they discovered
Beyond Adopteen was fascinating. I loved learning about other people’s adoptee journeys! Being on the older end of the age spectrum, it was also so encouraging to see everyone so eager to connect and form community.
Everyone’s definition of connection and community is a bit subjective, but to me, it means being able to share my own story and having it resonate with others. It means finding those points of shared history and empathizing. It means being surrounded by people who can intuitively acknowledge certain things without them needing to be said out loud. It implies a link—a unique relationship—that only fellow adoptees can understand. A fellowship, if you will, of shared loss, trauma, growth, displacement, and otherness. Events like Beyond Adopteen’s Connection Weekend are so important and valuable because they encourage you to quiet the outside world and focus on what brings attendees together. They create the ideal environment for self-reflection and openness while ensuring that there is also a safe space free of judgment. You are allowed to feel those feelings that perhaps you’ve been pushing to the side to deal with later.
This particular weekend focused on grief, relationships, and aging parents – all topics that I have spent a fair amount of time reflecting on personally and in therapy. Being able to talk about these sensitive topics with other adoptees who
share similar worries was gratifying. Knowing that others have the same concerns, the same worries, stemming from their own Adoptee hurt allowed us to support each other in a special way. We were blessed to have Nicole Chung video call and share with us as well. Hearing others’ experiences definitely gave me some food for thought and topics to dive into more in therapy
The weekend was also just great fun! Full of laughter, dancing, yummy
food, silly faces, and more! One of my favorite memories was the spontaneously planned Karaoke night with a large group, which evolved into a smaller group of us who decided to go out for some latenight dancing in our colorful city. The best way to describe the entire evening would be organized chaos. From not being able to make a playlist during Karaoke to closing out the dance floor at 3 AM, it was a night to remember.
Overall, it was a fantastic weekend that I am so grateful to have been part of. I walked away with new friends, new thoughts, and a whole heart. It reignited my desire to create more safe spaces for adoptees and to continue learning about how my identity as an adoptee continues to shape me now and in the future. Thank you to The Park Adoption Community Center, CCAI, and everyone involved for making the weekend possible.
